I think that I started this blog 6 months ago. Maybe more. This is my first post. I think there is a desire in me to write and express and process....but I honestly never make time for it. I'm headed to a Creative conference in NYC soon and in my registration I had to put my "medium". Funny thing is that I had to ask what that even means. Apparently that is my art. So, the best thing I can come up with is writing....because I think in my dream world my art is my writing and I am actually good at it. But that is my dream world, and for now this blog is secret.....at least I am not purposely giving out this web address. So that tells you what I think about my ability to write.
I tend to be a thinker. Not tend...I am. And sometimes I just can't turn it off. I enjoy learning and I feel like I am constantly processing something. Fortunately, lately, what I have been processing has been really good for my growth and spiritual health. I recently finished The Divine Conspiracy by Dallas Willard and it has left me challenged to think more deeply about the formation of my inner life. Willard suggests that we must set our intention to truly follow Jesus and we have to really believe that he is more valuable than anything else.
Last week my husband and I were at a conference and we heard a couple in the room next to us fighting. It was actually quite disturbing as they were pretty awful to one another and talking about divorce. It left me with a pretty sick feeling in my stomach, I think because the realization sunk in of what kind of decisions of the heart had led up to that point. What I mean is....people don't just start there. They develop a heart that produces behavior, good or bad. Galatians 6 talks about how we either sow good seed that leads to eternal life or bad seed that leads to destruction. I think it hit hard because if I am honest there are plenty of evil seeds that I sow....that may seem harmless now but 5 or 10 years down the road could put me in the hotel room next store fighting and talking about divorce. I don't want that. Bottom line is a heart that sets its intention on truly following Jesus requires discipline and work and as long as we are being honest, most of us aren't really willing to go there....at least not for the long haul. Oh Jesus, make me willing and cultivate a heart in me that bears good fruit!
